was my birthday
not sure entirely about it all
woke up, as is the recent pattern
to the sound of my new next door neighbor's daycare business
the sound of very small children
singing, talking, yelling
and the lyricless voice
of an adult's kid voice
loud and solo
dominating the texture
verse after repetitive verse of three blind mice
and other nursery dirges
her voice louder than all
for they are tiny little children
drumming and clicking things
her voice sour and unending
wafting into my window
because they are directly outside
next to the house
her sugared and depressing
'YAAAAAAAAY!' of encouragement
demons
yes yes
some may say that the song of youth is a beauty
some may say
this is followed by her husband's
friend
grinding the shit out of a rusty smoker with a bristle brush
directly by my window
the high squealing rip of corroded metal
is almost too much for me
who the f. are these yohoes
i realize I am probably jealous
jealous of their newly refurbished house
a big house: attic, basement, backyard, kitchen, at least 3 or 4 bedrooms
multiple baths
for two 30 somethings
jealous of their free time to fix up the yard and create projects
to have guests in the backyard candle light
for wine and merriment
while i share a house with 4 other mediocre people
mostly inadequate and blinded
like moths
unendingly into bulbs
and a fifth lives in the basement
and our house is moist and moldy
and the rent is cheap (duh)
and I stay in my room almost all the time
other than cooking, shitting, cleaning, or leaving
decided to proceed to the park
else succumb to torment
of my current placement
oh at least the trees
the bird
the jellyfish
a turn of a crane
the quick color change of boat wake
the sun through clouds
my feet
back and forth
criss crossing
dig sand
another bird
-Lahmadaj
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happy belated. i am glad your birthday and your poem progressed as so.
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