yesterday

was my birthday

not sure entirely about it all

woke up, as is the recent pattern

to the sound of my new next door neighbor's daycare business
the sound of very small children
singing, talking, yelling
and the lyricless voice
of an adult's kid voice
loud and solo
dominating the texture
verse after repetitive verse of three blind mice
and other nursery dirges

her voice louder than all
for they are tiny little children
drumming and clicking things

her voice sour and unending
wafting into my window
because they are directly outside
next to the house

her sugared and depressing
'YAAAAAAAAY!' of encouragement

demons

yes yes
some may say that the song of youth is a beauty

some may say

this is followed by her husband's
friend
grinding the shit out of a rusty smoker with a bristle brush
directly by my window

the high squealing rip of corroded metal
is almost too much for me

who the f. are these yohoes

i realize I am probably jealous

jealous of their newly refurbished house
a big house: attic, basement, backyard, kitchen, at least 3 or 4 bedrooms
multiple baths
for two 30 somethings
jealous of their free time to fix up the yard and create projects
to have guests in the backyard candle light
for wine and merriment

while i share a house with 4 other mediocre people
mostly inadequate and blinded
like moths
unendingly into bulbs
and a fifth lives in the basement
and our house is moist and moldy
and the rent is cheap (duh)
and I stay in my room almost all the time
other than cooking, shitting, cleaning, or leaving

decided to proceed to the park
else succumb to torment
of my current placement

oh at least the trees
the bird
the jellyfish

a turn of a crane

the quick color change of boat wake

the sun through clouds

my feet
back and forth
criss crossing

dig sand

another bird


-Lahmadaj

last night

I went to hear four bands play in a basement in Seattle's central district.  This concert occurred Sunday July 18.  I arrived to hear the last 3/4's of the last song of the first band.  The remaining three bands followed.  I drank beer before I attended this show.  I asked some people to join me, but none could make it.  I drank beer during this show.  I've been to this house a number of times, almost always alone since I don't know many people.  It was one dude's birthday.  This fellow lives at the venue house.  He also played in a band for this show. He is a cool guy and friendly.  He's turning 34 on Tuesday.  Between bands, I spent sometime wondering around outside looking into the sky.  There were a moderate amount of attendees at this concert.  Many concert goers smoke and talk outside between sets.  Some people know each other and have been associated in their lives. There were a few stars in the sky; I saw the big dipper by accident.  It was about to dump galactic dippables onto a smoking party-goer.  Nothing fell from the sky.  I found the north star via BD's handle and thought, 'who cares what direction.'  I think I texted my lover at this point or drank more beer.  Quiet like the sky.


-Lahmadaj