oma

will you go
and wait for us

the turning earth

love the love
finding a golden stone

will we stay to see the rise the fall
continuous water elated

i'll smile thinking of you
in the light of sun and bird song

may my worth be great
and you to dancing

-Lahmadaj

there are his eyes

looking at mine
he tells me words
out loud

he rarely says what's below
this burns

seems alive and smiles
touches lips
can hear breathing

what depression
to have the infinite light
hidden

looks at me
lost my shining
sometime in the years
thinking of when this all stops

i'll wait and wait and wait

may be birds


-Lahmadaj

yesterday

was my birthday

not sure entirely about it all

woke up, as is the recent pattern

to the sound of my new next door neighbor's daycare business
the sound of very small children
singing, talking, yelling
and the lyricless voice
of an adult's kid voice
loud and solo
dominating the texture
verse after repetitive verse of three blind mice
and other nursery dirges

her voice louder than all
for they are tiny little children
drumming and clicking things

her voice sour and unending
wafting into my window
because they are directly outside
next to the house

her sugared and depressing
'YAAAAAAAAY!' of encouragement

demons

yes yes
some may say that the song of youth is a beauty

some may say

this is followed by her husband's
friend
grinding the shit out of a rusty smoker with a bristle brush
directly by my window

the high squealing rip of corroded metal
is almost too much for me

who the f. are these yohoes

i realize I am probably jealous

jealous of their newly refurbished house
a big house: attic, basement, backyard, kitchen, at least 3 or 4 bedrooms
multiple baths
for two 30 somethings
jealous of their free time to fix up the yard and create projects
to have guests in the backyard candle light
for wine and merriment

while i share a house with 4 other mediocre people
mostly inadequate and blinded
like moths
unendingly into bulbs
and a fifth lives in the basement
and our house is moist and moldy
and the rent is cheap (duh)
and I stay in my room almost all the time
other than cooking, shitting, cleaning, or leaving

decided to proceed to the park
else succumb to torment
of my current placement

oh at least the trees
the bird
the jellyfish

a turn of a crane

the quick color change of boat wake

the sun through clouds

my feet
back and forth
criss crossing

dig sand

another bird


-Lahmadaj

this line

is bent

red apple

he knows what I'm sayin

dancing in the light

a pen draws and writes

look at me and laugh

thisfeelssoweird

and the fuzziness

glad to be here

thinking of the time

we are somewhere else

there are people here, but they have fake lives

a lot of prescribed needs via media face

that's definitely me

faked

we've convinced ourselves of the validity of a reality
we have described

it's so much easier

please earth fill me with music and freedom
make me see the truth
help me sway my anger for blindness and self-deception

give me music and dancing

watch the world fast bird arc in sky


-Lahmadaj

waiting to take a

break

from the walk

it's not too much further

he said

as my face was upon the lighted arrow

-lahmadaj