I laugh

and think to myself

about the times i've accidentally sold my truth for the social ease

i waste my time thinking and imagining the froth of possibilities

look back and see myself the same despite my growing age
wonder when i can share this with another
there was one; no longer
myself again and the earth
like the first day

wonder if I'll change myself into something new
a pattern repeated a pattern

i'm unhinged compared to most americans
still chained to the cycle
vices
loneliness
inadequate resources
finite

I think and laugh to myself
despite all this
the air still feels so good

the light meets my eye
and my skin delivers

-Lahmadaj

it's difficult

to love

someone

then begin finding out later

more of how he thinks

yeah not so attracted to you

when you start 

talking to me in that way

asking me

finding out the narrow

motive behind the question

his assuming definitions of words

may be too f. to fix

that's what he wanted

maybe 

that's what I wanted

-Lahmadaj

it was fairly late

no one was around me
i sat alone
my cacti grew on the left
the light on
making music
i may never hear
thinking about another life
knowing it's impossible
did we fall away
is he already gone
not sure

-Lahmadaj

this line

is bent

red apple

he knows what I'm sayin

dancing in the light

a pen draws and writes

look at me and laugh

thisfeelssoweird

and the fuzziness

glad to be here

thinking of the time

we are somewhere else

there are people here, but they have fake lives

a lot of prescribed needs via media face

that's definitely me

faked

we've convinced ourselves of the validity of a reality
we have described

it's so much easier

please earth fill me with music and freedom
make me see the truth
help me sway my anger for blindness and self-deception

give me music and dancing

watch the world fast bird arc in sky


-Lahmadaj

Glückwünsche

Christina and Michael

today they've been married

today i heard a song along the shore

the sound of winds and laughter

today my friend called me on his phone

included in the gathering

i smiled to think

could hear and see her face

the thick air to gently sway the fabric

a sun and spots of cloud

today they were married

today the force of dancing and singing

energy friends

and love

the sky unfolded

a clasp of hands

to kiss in the glinting breezes